Quickly Creating My Best Life, As I Surrender Control

Do you surrender control? Or how much do you try to control everything around you? When I started my Master Key Experience, I was trying to figure out what it was I wanted.

Didn’t take me too long to realize; I know what I wanted. It was Autonomy, control of my Time; and Liberty, or Money Freedom.

It didn’t take me long to sort it out, and I started working on that DMP (Definite Major Purpose). I got it as aligned as I could with my chosen PPN’s (personal pivotal needs)… yet something still didn’t seem to add up or align.

Reading my own version of what I truly want didn’t feel authentic. It didn’t really incite JOY or enTTTHHHUUUSSSIIIAAASSSMMM in me.

Given Time

It took me a while to realize that it wasn’t the money. Yes, money is important, and enough money to pay the bills and essentials most definitely alleviate stress. Except that I realized I only needed enough money to cover the stress. There was no drive for larger financial gain.

Autonomy is easy, and this resonated with me on a different level. In the beginning I thought I wanted to control my time so that I could help my mom whenever she needed.

It took me years, and honestly after I had achieved part of my autonomy, for me to truly realize I wanted the freedom of my time to be of true service, in all that looked like.

When COVID came through, I made the difficult decision to enroll my children in online schooling. As my children don’t get a lot of school social interaction, we try to make sure to attend as many social school gatherings that we can. One is called outdoor school.

This is a fantastic opportunity for the kids to use physics and math in real life. They study geology in the marsh, and have lots of other fun with academic learning.

During this program, the kids travel out of town, to go to a summer camp location and stay in cabins with parent volunteers and teachers for the week of practical learning outside.

Adventure Awaits

Last year a friend of mine asked me to volunteer and help as they did not have enough volunteers. Of course, with my ability to book my own schedule, I was able to attend with my daughter. My friend and I had about 4 other kids join us in our cabin.

They were all incredible and we had so much fun. I had all the home school and online kids in my cabin. I tend to be a little bit “old school” in many of my methods, so this was a great mix of kids, values, and upbringing.

This year my girlfriend asked if I am willing to volunteer again. Of course I told her I could make the time work, all good, and I’d love to again. This was about a month and a half before the event.

One of the things that I have learned since joining the Master Key Experience is that I really like to control things. Maybe I knew that before… and I do NOT like to surrender control.

Fast forward to less than two weeks before and nothing, not a word, not boo about the event coming up. Finally, I receive an info Zoom from my friend for the next day. FANTASTIC!!

wasn’t super worried. This wasn’t my first year. I know all the same staff are running it from the conference office, so it should be easy.  

My patience was starting to pay off. I waited, got the email (in time) again, allll gooooodddd.

Something else seemed odd though. As I got to thinking about it, I realized I had not heard from my Vice Principle about anything prior to the week before. She is an excellent communicator, even when short on time.

Day before the week starts, we get an email from the Vice Principle (who also chaperones the event and our kids) reminding us of the packing list and the cabin numbers. Great news. Who needs it early? I can handle this, surrendering control and the impulses.

On The Way

I’m driving up and my girlfriend texts me saying that I only have three kids in my cabin!!! Sweet! Sounds like an easy week. But I realize that I know of at least 4 kids going from our school… so how does that work? I’m starting to get a little squirrelly.

Now remember how we were talking about me liking… or maybe needing to control things? I was doing really good up until this point with being patient.

I knew my girlfriend was having a tough time at her new teaching position this year and it was taking a lot out of her. I didn’t want to add more stress by texting and harassing her. But now I’m starting to have all the bells go off. I start to have a mild, mini build-up inside my mind.

As we start to message back and forth, I realize that my child is with all her ‘school’ mates that she wanted to be with. K, So this is a huge win.

One girl is a home school student who she met a year ago at this event, and the other girl is one of her church and school classmates. Alright, I breathe, this is really about my daughter, who is a social butterfly… in online schooling.

As it turns out, I have kids from another school. Wait what? The guard starts running back to the freak out tower. Remember the online and home school kids and me being old school…a s in my 16 year old doesn’t have a cell phone, old school??

Now I have REGULAR school kids. There’s no thought of submitting to surrender control, I’m ready to sound the alarm.

Then It Happens

I’m trying not to freak out over text. But I think she is sensing my apprehension… and she asks me that pivotal question less than 30 minutes out. “Do you want me to change you?”

As I was driving down the highway getting closer to uncertainty and feeling all those emotions… I just took in a breath and let it go, surrendering control with it.

My girlfriend didn’t need an adult volunteer who was a hassle, whiney or any form of unneeded stress BEFORE this event happened.

What was I going to win, by fussing? Can you imagine how much stress and hassle it would be to change the plans now?

But most of all — who was in control of the driver’s seat? If we are in alignment, working towards our dreams and goals, while being our true authentic self… then everything works out the way it is was meant to when we surrender control.

Just like my first DMP. It didn’t come to fruition in the way I thought it would, but it did happen, and in a way that I had woven the dream and fabric of reality.

There are so many times in the last couple of years I have been unhappy with a decision as it was not what I would have chosen for me.

Or not the group I wanted to work with. Maybe even, not the TIMING that I wanted.

Yet looking back, we are shown the golden path that was laid out for our ease throughout this journey called life.

Reflection

This trip really left me with the option of grasping at control, or choosing to surrender control, letting the universe work it out (which clearly was long laid out already).

I told my girlfriend not to worry about changing anything, and that it would be wonderful. All that mattered was my daughter was with the kids she knew from school.

Friends, let me tell you what an awesome God I serve!!! The cabin I wanted to have (my daughter’s) ended up being 4 home school/ online school students and 3 regular school kids, one being neurodivergent and extremely out of her routine.

The lady in charge of the 7 kids is a home school mom and very soft spoken.

I was feeling a little tired this afternoon as I was waiting for the first class with my group of kids, and I see these three girls… running circles around two groups of kids trying to catch and hit each other while screaming at the top of their lungs.

I just looked at the girls and up to the sky and said thank you God, an excellent way to surrender control.

Do I know best?

I am not exactly a “gentle” parent, nor am I exceptionally patient. As I have observed this cabin over the last week; what I wanted and was ‘ready for’… what I thought was the best for me was indeed NOT intended for my growth or journey this week.

Maybe I was supposed to be in a certain place, being an influence to someone else. Maybe I was just being challenged to see if I would surrender control. Maybe my daughter was supposed to receive a different experience or be an example without me there.

Or the other mom needed an experience or opportunity to grow. I don’t know these answers, but I do know that I couldn’t have planned a better, easier, or more relaxing week for myself if I tried.

On a side note, I got the BEST cabin. The girls were all friends, and I was the odd one out. (haha) I told them we needed to leave in five and they were back in four. There was no arguing, no one was upset, or homesick.

I am experiencing pure delight this week because I chose to surrender control… the control that I so STRONGLY FEEL I need to hold onto.

Surrender Control

So, I ask again, how much do you need to control everything in your life? I embrace the universal blessings; as I surrender control of it having to be “my way”.

Today I am grateful to be taught a lesson in patience and to release the reins; to know that for me to continue to create my best life, I must surrender control.

Join the list to be notified as soon as this year’s Master Key Experience opens up. Enjoy reading a few of my other experiences and reflections throughout my last MKE year here.