October 3


Master Key Experience Week 2: Control Freaks Freaking Out?


We are all control freaks.   Until we aren’t anymore.

I love the movie, “When Harry Met Sally“.   I can’t help myself but at least it’s a conscious decision.  I simply love romantic comedies, “rom-com’s”, because we know how they are going to end.   Love always wins.

High Maintenance

Been through, on both ends, some challenging relationships.   Once I started to understand the Master Key System, I made a conscious decision to watch “ro-co’s”, [or “rom-coms” as The Fabulous Davene never fails to correct me], because, at heart, I am a hopeful romantic, [why be a hopeless romantic?], who understood, somehow, that long term humor needs to be a factor.

So I started focusing on them… watching them over and over and over as I drifted off to sleep after doing my reading and studying of the ‘world within’.   Made a conscious decision to focus on romance and love instead of “relationship”… hey, if Haanel was right and we manifest what we think about… why not think about romance and love?   Besides, it was clear to me that whatever my “stuff” with relationships was… poor picker, poor mate, poor at intimacy… no matter, relationships just did not bring to me what I desired.

Which was?

Romance and fun… and KNOWING, in every fiber of my being, that is was going to “work-out” in the end.  Just like the movies 🙂 And you always know, when watching a “rom-com” that if it is NOT working out, it simply is not the end!

How cool would that be?  I mean, how cool would it be to really know it was going to be fun, funny and, despite challenges, it was going to work out beautifully!

But that was easy… singular, if you will.

How come I could figure that out… but when it came down to what I wanted to do with my life I was so damn indecisive?   Actually, I wasn’t indecisive, I was delaying.

Why was I delaying? Why was I so often delaying by writing hundreds and hundreds of wonderful words that said nothing – and defending those words 🙂   Criticizing the person trying to help me as being heartless, lacking insight into the depths of me!  LMAO.

Little did I know at the time it took a lot of heart and courage to offer suggestions knowing either pouting or anger was going to be returned by me, mostly both at once. 🙂


Turns out I was not being indecisive at all… I was just a control freak.

We all are… until we aren’t.

There is a great line, one of many actually, in that movie.

Harry: There are two types of women.  High maintenance and low maintenance.

Sally: Which one am I?

2 control freaks… Sally wins this round

Harry:  You’re the worst kind.  You are very high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance

Sally:  I just want things the way that I want them.

Harry: High maintenance

We are not only control freaks but we all believe we are not.


So? What is your dharma?

Really, what is your purpose?

Why is this so hard?

Everybody ELSE Seems To Know What Our Blueprint for Life Should Be

 including not thinking for ourselves.

The accertation here is the “cement buddha” or, if you prefer, the River of Dreams is running the show.  It’s not our fault.  We’ve be pounded for so long by schools, institutions, parents who are by-products of the same consumerism machine and the government to “fit in”… that we simply have not thought about it our purpose, or, in my case… simply had not actually “thought” for years for myself.

control freaks
River of Dreams? Other people’s blueprints

Actually decades.

The matrix of others’ blueprints is confusing and overwhelming.  Let’s get honest here; thinking about “how to” manage our day is not “thinking” at all.  New word for you… ready?  Trying to manage our day or week is “sheeping” not thinking.  Sheep trying to fit in.  I’ll never forget the day I figured out I could drop my dry cleaning off at 6 AM…and felt so “smart” because … well, you know.  Reconfiguring a schedule for a life I did not love, like or want is not thinking… it is merely trying to find more convenient ways to “fit in”… to be a more efficient “sheep among sheep” LOL

All, as in 100%, of control issues are fear based.  And indecision is the worst… with others around us in our lives… indecision controls them, to varying degrees….

So, what do you want?

Even more befuddling is…’what are your two biggest personal pivotal needs?’

What is your heart’s desire?

Sadly, many of us don’t even know how to process this simple question.

Funny, when we were 5 or 6 years old… our response was instantaneous!

What happened?

No matter.

What matters is… Mark.. Fred… Joanne…”Are you happy?”

File that one under “C” for curveball for most people…

If we hesitate on that one… it’s a dead give away… “no”


Then….BAM!  Haanel hits me square in the chops… in the intro to lesson 2 …

Our difficulties are largely due to confused ideas and ignorance of our true interests.”

IF we don’t decide then someone else will

OMGoodness! I don’t know what I want or what my heart’s desire is.  Hell, I don’t even know if I am happy… and it’s all linked to my confusion about what I want and what I am truly interested in – think dharma!

Then Haanel blows me away…

2-3: “The subconscious soul, like a benevolent stranger, works and makes provision for our benefit, pouring only the mature fruit into our lap; thus ultimate analysis of thought processes shows that the subconscious is the theatre of the most important mental phenomena.”

Double BAM!

My life is a movie, a reflection of the ‘subconscious theatre‘ and it’s the author of my autobiography… or I default to someone else’s ideas, someone else’s script.

Why would I do that?

Simple… I’ve got someone to blame if I don’t like it.

Ut-oh… we only get one shot.

Who can I really trust to design this movie?


I remember the fear and excitement this revelation triggered simultaneously way back in the mid-90’s.

Then, like a bolt out of the blue, I confessed… to myself while falling to me knees… I was a control freak of the worst possible kind.

No idea, no idea whatsoever what my needs were or what I was truly interested in and as far as dharma?  Well, that was just too big.  Way to big.

And two words popped into my head as I re-read lesson two.

Slow down.

Your heart’s desire is whispering to you, will you listen?

Control freaks can’t hear their heart.


Just becoming aware that I was reacting to life… by making a living…..and I had not thought… as I did as a kid… about what I really want and how it would effect others around me was, despite the fear it initially carried, was, in fact, a treasure!

I get to be romantic… to fall in love with the idea, the single thought that I have not been thinking… and to slow down and to learn to think….and with some consistent effort… I might can will for sure discover what my heart’s desire is and how that may help me and by extension those around me.

And, if I struggle, so be it!  Because, you see, in the end, like a “rom-coms” it will turn out fine in the end… and if it’s not turning out fine?  It simply is not the end.

Confessing I was a control freak was about the best thing I ever did.  Oh, sure, it did not stop right away, but as I was learning in the lessons… I could either continue to try and control the world…or learn to control myself by controlling my thoughts

So, all you fellow control freaks…

You wanted control…

Well, now you’ve got it.

You really do.

Right now, right this second.

You’ve got total control




What do you want?

I mean, the bills are paid, the debt is gone, the retirement funding is secured; take a deep, deep breathe…

What do you want?


mark januszewski

world’s laziest networker

Mahalo sharing The Master Key Experience




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Mark J

About the author

Mark is considered a Trainer’s Trainer. Students from 50 states and workshops conducted as far away as Thailand and Germany fostered 54 consecutive sell-outs worldwide in less the 2 years.

Mark’s passion is helping people understand the wealth they seek already lies within them. More importantly all the directions to access and harness this power are freely available.

  • Mark…thank you for reminding me to slow down and let go. I’ve been holding on to my cement for dear life and for so long, that I could no longer hear my 6-year-old self whispering my dharma to me in my world within. Unfortunately my me-right-now voice is so busy screaming for help in a world of 6 billion other screamers, I have managed to convince myself that tuning out my dharma is normal. That inner voice was just a bunch of noise like everything else…until I realized that I too am a control freak. I’m trying to control the outer world, while it laughs uproariously at my feeble attempt at its mastery.

  • Wow! Mahalo Mark J! That Deep Breath at the end just got me. Suddenly I AM 7 again, running through the backyard barefoot, with my hair blowing in the wind. I see my little carefree self, and my life ahead of me, and… I see my next steps, and I just wrote them down in my action plan! Thank You, again. 🙂

  • BOOM!! You “get it”… BRAVO!!

  • you will, ab-sooo-lute-LEE get unstuck. Trust the process

  • mahalo… read and think, fabulous

  • I can identify with this writing so well and hopefully going they this course I will also get unstuck!

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