October 4


Master Key Experience Week 2; Control Freaks Freaking Out?


We are all control freaks.   Until we aren’t anymore.

I love the movie, “When Harry Met Sally“.   I can’t help myself but at least it’s a conscious decision.  I simply love romantic comedies, “rom-com’s”, because we know how they are going to end.   Love always wins.

High Maintenance

Been through, on both ends, some challenging relationships.   Once I started to understand the Master Key System, I made a conscious decision to watch “ro-co’s”, [or rom-coms as The Fabulous Davene never fails to correct me], because, at heart, I am a hopeful romantic, [why be a hopeless romantic?], who understood, somehow, that long term humor needs to be a factor.

So I started focusing on them… watching them over and over and over as I drifted off to sleep after doing my reading and studying of the ‘world within’.   Made a conscious decision to focus on romance and love instead of “relationship” … hey, if Haanel was right and we manifest what we think about….why not think about romance and love.   Besides, it was clear to me that whatever my “stuff” with relationships was… poor picker, poor mate, poor at intimacy… no matter, relationships just did not bring to me what I desired.

Which was?

Romance and fun….and KNOWING, in every fiber of my being, that is was going to “work out” in the end.  Just like the movies 🙂 And you always know, when watching a “rom-com” that if it is NOT working out, it simply is not the end!   How cool would that be?  I mean, how cool would it be to really know it was going to be fun, funny and, despite challenges, it was going to work out beautifully!

But that was easy… singular, if you will.

How come I could figure that out….but when it came down to what I wanted to do with my life I was so damn indecisive?   Why was I delaying, often delaying by writing hundreds and hundreds of wonderful words that said nothing – and defending those words 🙂   Criticizing the person trying to help me as being heartless, lacking insight into the depths of me!  LMAO.  Little did I know at the time it took a lot of heart and courage to offer suggestions knowing either pouting or anger was going to be returned by me, mostly both at once. 🙂


Turns out I was not being indecisive at all… I was just a control freak.

We all are… until we aren’t.

There is a great line, one of many actually, in that movie.

Harry: There are two types of women.  High maintenance and low maintenance.

Sally: Which one am I?

Harry:  You’re the worst kind.  You are very high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance

Sally:  I just want things the way that I want them.

Harry: High maintenance

We are not only control freaks but we all believe we are not.


So? What is your dharma? … Really, what is your purpose?

Why is this so hard?

Everybody Seems To Know What Our Blueprint for Life Should Be….including not thinking for ourselves

The accertation here is the “cement buddha” or, if you perfer, the River of Dreams is running the show.  It’s not our fault.  We’ve be pounded for so long by schools, institutions, parents who are by-products of the same consumerism machine and the government to “fit in” … that we simply have not thought about it our purpose, or, in my case….simply had not actually “thought” for years for myself.

Actually decades.

The matrix of others’ blueprints is confusing and overwhelming.  Let’s get honest here; thinking about “how to” manage our day is not “thinking” at all.  New word for you … ready?  Trying to manage our day or week is “sheeping” not thinking.  Sheep trying to fit in.  I’ll never forget the day I figured out I could drop my dry cleaning off at 6 AM…and felt so “smart” because … well, you know.  Reconfiguring a schedule for a life I did not love, like or want is not thinking… it is merely trying to find more convenient ways to “fit in”… to be a more efficient “sheep among sheep” LOL

All, as in 100%, of control issues are fear based.  And indecision is the worst…with others around us in our lives….indecision controls them, to varying degrees….

So, what do you want?

Even more befuddling is …’what are your two biggest personal pivotal needs?’

What is your heart’s desire?

Sadly, many of us don’t even know how to process this simple question.

Funny, when we were 5 or 6 years old….our response was instantaneous!

What happened?

No matter.

What matters is….Mark.. Fred…Joanne…”Are you happy?”

File that one under “C” for curveball for most people…..

If we hesitate on that one…..it’s a dead give away….”no”


Then….BAM!  Haanel hits me square in the chops…..in the intro to lesson 2 …..

Our difficulties are largely due to confused ideas and ignorance of our true interests.”

IF we don’t decide, someone else will

OMGoodness! I don’t know what I want or what my heart’s desire is.  Hell, I don’t even know if I am happy… and it’s all linked to my confusion about what I want and what I am truly interested in – think dharma!

Then Haanel blows me away …

2-3: “The subconscious soul, like a benevolent stranger, works and makes provision for our benefit, pouring only the mature fruit into our lap; thus ultimate analysis of thought processes shows that the subconscious is the theatre of the most important mental phenomena.”

Double BAM!

My life is a movie, a reflection of the ‘subconscious theatre‘ and it’s the author of my autobiography… or I default to someone else’s ideas, someone else’s script.

Why would I do that?

Simple… I’ve got someone to blame if I don’t like it.

Ut-oh… we only get one shot.

Who can I really trust to design this movie?


I remember the fear and excitement this revelation triggered simultaneously way back in the mid-90’s.

Then, like a bolt out of the blue, I confessed… to myself while falling to me knees… I was a control freak of the worst possible kind.

No idea, no idea whatsoever what my needs were or what I was truly interested in and as far as dharma?  Well, that was just too big.  Way to big.

And two words popped into my head as I re-read lesson two.

Slow down.

Your heart’s desire is whispering to you, will you listen?


Just becoming aware that I was reacting to life… by making a living…..and I had not thought… as I did as a kid… about what I really want and how it would effect others around me was, despite the fear it initially carried, was, in fact, a treasure!

I get to be romantic… to fall in love with the idea, the single thought that I have not been thinking… and to slow down and to learn to think….and with some consistent effort… I might can will for sure discover what my heart’s desire is and how that may help me and by extension those around me.

And, if I struggle, so be it!  Because, you see, in the end, like a “rom-coms” it will turn out fine in the end… and if it’s not turning out fine?  It simply is not the end.

Confessing I was a control freak was about the best thing I ever did.  Oh, sure, it did not stop right away, but as I was learning in the lessons… I could either continue to try and control the world…or learn to control myself by controlling my thoughts

So, all you fellow control freaks…

You wanted control…

Well, now you’ve got it.

You really do.

Right now, right this second.

You’ve got total control




What do you want?

I mean, the bills are paid, the debt is gone, the retirement funding is secured; take a deep, deep breathe…

What do you want?


mark januszewski

world’s laziest networker

Mahalo sharing The Master Key Experience




You may also like...

Mark J

About the author

Mark is considered a Trainer’s Trainer. Students from 50 states and workshops conducted as far away as Thailand and Germany fostered 54 consecutive sell-outs worldwide in less the 2 years.

Mark’s passion is helping people understand the wealth they seek already lies within them. More importantly all the directions to access and harness this power are freely available.

  • Control freak! This is one of my reflections lately… “What am I trying to control? What am I trying to hold?” I feel that something big hides behind that answer but have no idea what is it. Yet 🙂
    Thanks for the blog post Mark! It helps me getting closer to that answer.

  • Yup, and He did not come so we have life but have it abundantely 🙂

  • Change is hard in the beginning, messy in the middle and beautiful in the end, think butterfly 🙂

  • Thank you for your honesty and your very kind and thoughtful words Noel. We appreciate you

  • LOL… welcome to the good fight … the fight to hear your heart instead of the “noise” from the advertisers, others, conditioning, et al …

  • That is your old blueprint setting you up to quit… tell it to take a hike and dig in 🙂

  • Gina Muhammad says:

    Mark’s point is very true because I am getting over whelmed

  • Reading your blog is as always a wonderful exciting ride. I see myself so much of the time. Thank you

  • Bravo Scott, enjoy the process

  • Yes Mark, this is exactly how I am feeling. I don’t even know/accept that I am a control freak. I don’t know how to figure out what it is that I want. No wonder I can’t think of “feelings” to put into my DMP.

  • Robert Rysgaard says:

    Thanks Mark! Yes I definitely need more clarity & focus. Working at revising my DMP. Working at becoming the my architect with words to move my life in the direction I want & was intended to have.

  • Man, am I guilty of sheeping! That really resonated with me, how most of us spend our time trying to be more efficient at a life we don’t even want! But now, thanks to you and Davene and the team, I’m learning to use my imagination more to create what I truly desire. It’s starting to get really fun.

  • Love your open and heart-felt writing style, Mark. It feels so odd to think I’m a control freak, after all those years of being a perfectionist in total denial. As a career technical writer, It served me well with the companies I worked with, but never helped me personally… just wasted a lot of my time. You and your team are deeply appreciated and providing an incredible life-changing course.

  • Laurie Swift Fike says:

    Wow, I am a control freak! You made me giggle at you and at me. Shoot, whatever the heck I had I was dang sure going to control in. I don’t know what’s happening but I feel like I’m manifesting into that beautiful butterfly. The only thing it has to do is fly. Let me get back in my caccon, I took a peek out there, it’s looking pretty amazing. It won’t be long before I get to fully strip all this control and restraint away. Big sigh. Oh that felt good.

  • LOL… we all are…. until we are not… go for it Rip

  • Said it a million times…. honesty is the handmaiden of greatness and your honesty puts you in rare air.. keep working, keep questioning… you rock!

  • One love, one heart, one blood… my brother

  • Nothing wrong with being tuned into your heart Scott, beautiful … lead the way amigo

  • Honesty… the handmaiden to greatness! And you, my friend, have it… BRAVO!

  • Carl Erickson says:

    I guess, being honest, that I really never had the Real Vision of what I wanted, or want to be. I now understand the importance of being in control of myself completely. Especially my Subby. I now fully understand that by developing Good Habits to replace Bad Habits that have accumulated over 70 years.. I truly have the Life I was meant to have with a fulfilled Purpose. That means a completed 7 Day Diet, with continuously developed Good Habits replacing my bad habits. Those good habits are producing the actions to fulfill my Dream Of Total Financial Independence and security of being a Billionaire. Being able to support multiple charitable organizations, first of which is support and growth of my church, which in turn supports many others in need, and expansion of The Good News to the World. The first commandment we were all given by Our Lord Jesus.

  • I knew the two I needed to choose immediately. Guess I’m the odd man out. I stil feel exactly the same way I did when I chose them. Yet I feel change ocurring and I definately have had comments by others which indicate I am silently and unaware of working towards the person I wish to be. Guess I AM aware of it…..hmmmm

  • Realized during breakfast today that there’s so much I don’t know about what I want. Gratitude fills me for this discovery.

    >One Love<


  • Valerie Flores says:

    ✨😍it will turn out fine in the end… and if it’s not turning out fine? It simply is not the end.

    Exactly what I needed.

  • Rita Prime says:

    What do I want? The question makes me realize I didn’t know what I want. Its becoming clearer. WOW I didn’t even know that I needed to know this. My subby lets me know when I sit with him. I am sitting.

  • I want recognition for my creative expression! I am amazed to become aware that I AM A CONTROL FREAK! I am not indecisive… I want control! WOW! *Epiphany*

  • Jeanette Berry says:

    I love the suggestion to remember how I would have answered this question as a 5 or a 10 year old. That takes me right to what my heart’s desire was back then………..

  • {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}