TIME TO STEP UP
It happens everytime…..well, almost everytime…..virtually every lesson is “my favorite.”
But really….lesson 8, focused on the value and insights into imagination …..while quietly expressing that nothing will change without it…..I just love….it is my favorite…..whoops, there I go again.
It wasn’t the first time.
It was hard…..
It scared me…..I was freightend…..tremors and terror raced through my being, from head to toe.Shame or liberty?
Now I love it….look forward to it……I often find myself in lessons 4, 5 or 6 thumbing ahead to read the 6 sentences that with the word….the big, great, limitless word…..Imagination.
6. The imagination will be found to be a great assistance in this direction; the cultivation of the imagination leads to the development of the ideal out of which your future will emerge.
7. The imagination gathers up the material by which the Mind weaves the fabric in which your future is to be clothed.
8. Imagination is the light by which we can penetrate new worlds of thought and experience.
9. Imagination is the mighty instrument by which every discoverer, every inventor, opened the way from precedent to experience. Precedent said, “It cannot be done;” experience said, “It is done.”
10. Imagination is a plastic power, molding the things of sense into new forms and ideals.
11. Imagination is the constructive form of thought which must precede every constructive form of action.
WHY DID I GET SCARED?
Reading this the very first time….my heart is pumping, I’m thinking …..wow……’your future is to be clothed’…..wow……’opened the way…….wow…..’your future will emerge’…..and wow-wow-wow ‘penetrate new worlds’…..beautiful. Elegant. Stunning choice of words.
Then I get to 12…..sitting at my kitchen table, my eyes well up…..I want a different outcome, a different life……and I wasn’t trying to ‘get away’ from what I had, I didn’t hate my life or boss or feel alone….my hope in the undertaking was that I could “improve” some of the conditions and, relax the financial stress, spend more time with the kids….be a better dad by being around more often, stress free or at least managable….and BAM…..the pie in the face….feeling humliation….a wasted life flashes before me …damn that subby, never forgets a damn thing…..
That horrible and wonderful moment of shame and hope….simultaneously courses through every fiber of my being
I’m weak…..so shame takes over…..I try to get to that flickering feeling of hope…..but…..well, you know…..it’s vanity…..
I don’t want anyone to know….
I want to rationalize it away….the shame, lots of it for some reason
I want to pretend the circumstances are ones I did not create so I can justify …..
But I can’t…..I’ve got too much Haanel in me at this point….
12. A builder cannot build a structure of any kind until he has first received the plans from the architect, and the architect must get them from his imagination
QUITE A COUPLE, ODD MAN OUT
Combining 12 and the phrase “penetrate new worlds” is the cause of the terror….I realize all the things I wanted…..all the things I wanted to change…..all the improvements …..all of everything….had NOTHING to do with new worlds…..
And, no…..this isn’t some ‘think bigger’ feeling going on…..
I simply did not have an imagination….The compass to new worlds is within, not without
I sat there and thought….and thought……and thought….and I could not remeber a time I had thought about anything except the conditions in my life…..what I’d like to see more of, less of….eliminated…..and any ‘add-ons’ were, really…..all connected to the current conditions….
Waking up and feeling good about the investment I was making daily in the lessons came to a grinding halt.
I was frozen…..shamed…..ashamed……terrified that I had no real imagination …..and……if the “structure” cannot be built ……until the architect forks over the plans…..and the architect “must get them from his imagination” ….where does that leave someone without an imagination.
Is my life merely going to be reduced to tinkering with what I have…..is my purpose in life, really, to improve something I really don’t have passion for?
BAM! BAM! BAM!
There it was…..passion……
How did that word, in this near panic-depression……pop into my mind?
THE REAL CHALLENGE
OK….been training my brain and learning the 7 Laws of the Mind
Law of Relaxation pops in….yeah….that’s it….relax.
I go to the same place, sit….and shut down the race mind…..
This is good….
Whoops…race mind is back….
Relaxation….starting to relax now….
I can win….I can do this…..I’ve been doing this for 2 months….
I did this for the first 4 weeks….everyday….
I know I can do this….
I know that when the creator makes the call…..to be of service…..He pays the expenses, provides the ways and means or the ability to meet them easily….
The cement has cracked on the Buddha…..I no longer feel terror or shame…..
I realize this is my moment…..right now….right this second….and all I have to do is get out of the way…..
The preface of lesson two flashes through my mind…..now I’m loving that ‘subby’ never forgets…
“Our difficulties are largely due to confused ideas and ignorance of our true interests” …..and, it’s not the first time that one has flashed into my mind….
Only it’s different….really different because
….well…..because I know…..I know where my true interest in life is….Our heart’s desire is in us….will we listen to it?
It’s been whispering to me for years…..without realizing it, I’ve even spoken of it many times.
I don’t know how but the idea that teaching….[teachers made around $40,000 at that time in Massachusetts]…..would not be enough to support myself and the kids never crosses my mind….because I know that when we find out true place in the world, our dharma……that the Master Architect will provide the ways and the means….
I don’t think about the methods….a massive departure for me…..
I begin to shape a vision…..that I can live where I want…..and do what I love…..and my eyes well up….
And 8 becomes my favorite lesson…..
I realize I do have an imagination and the price I am paying, daily…..is paying off, right now…..
And while I get to do what I love….I get a bigger gift…..being surrounded by amazing members in a mastermind who are teaching me more than, well, than they can imagine…..and penetraing those new worlds for me and with me…..and inspiring me….constantly.
“Imagine……it’s easy if you try” John Lennon
keep giving to keep growing
Follow Your Bliss
Great post Mark, thank you.
Week 8 is my favourite too. All the teachings resonate so much more strongly for me this week than any other so far. 🙂
Love the way you put the “means” into perspective. Makes the lessons about the “world within” come into focus. Focus on the cause, not the effect. Thanks for the insight.
Every week is my favorite week because I am learning so much. Thanks for being so vulnerable. That way we know that what we are feeling is okay. It also lets us know that we will get through the obstacles and get out of the ruts. I know that I’ve got a couple of ruts that are soooo deep that I don’t have the confidence yet to get out of them, but I know that if I continue, that confidence will come.
Awesome post, Mark, and week 8 became really special for me this year as well – passion is finally in place 😀 and I know why I do what I need to do to fulfill that passion!!!
Mahalo, I appreciate You!
I am like you Mark. I am loving the growing of my imagination. I am glad I’m with you in the world of teaching and learning..Thank you. looking forward to week 9
I love this post Mark. Imagination. Relax and let the imagination work its way to what your heart desires. Do it now! That’s what you taught me.:-) I’m so grateful.
WOW!!! Mark, thank you for being there and sharing that in this blog. I was having ah-ha moments right along with you and loving the authenticity of your heart felt expression. I have been passionate about a few select things in life that I didn’t see as a way to ‘make a living’. Now I am taking all those things I am passionate about and creating (imagination) a business plan with a fellow creator to bring this three-fold passion into a reality to share with many people. Living one’s Dharma equals receiving one’s due. I am in the flow. So grateful for you and the team captaining this program. Teach on, teacher man!