Self-Development?
What is self-development? Good place to start since most people who recognize they need to improve, in general, do so after the shit hits the fan. Some label it as self-development while other call it personal growth… but it almost always gets triggered after we realize that stuff going on in our life is… drumroll… out fault.
We are no longer buying our blame game and we’re too exhausted to even try and bullshit ourselves any more about the conditions in our life being someone else’s fault. This is a glorious yet sublime moment. Until we take personal responsibility for EVERYTHING that is not working out, we are roadkill with no chance to experience personal growth.
When we add the natural tendency to improve in the areas, we are already good at, it complicates the dynamic. It is very common for a good cook or tennis player to work on what they are good at instead of attack their weaknesses yet it is improving our weaknesses that that the good cook or tennis player finds greatness… they transcend themselves and become great.
They same is even more challenging with self-development so we grow personally.
Most People Suck At Most Things
To further compromise our hopes for transformation, let’s face it, most people suck at most things, and everybody sucks at virtually everything we try the first few times that we have never done before.
The knee-jerk reaction to trying something new and failing? Go back to what we know and work to improve the things we are already good at… we figure we’ll get our confidence back and then go back and try the hard thing again. Which, of course, we never do. Death to the resolution of improvement, growth, and transformation.
Transformation
Transformation is really the “after,” so be careful with the pied pipers of prosperity who promise transformation if you will pay them for their “secrets.” As far back as the written word goes, transformation happens after we experience personal growth. And, not surprisingly, they all laid out the same simple formula.
Transformation is a byproduct of pain, work and growing to revel in uncertainty. The overall pain comes from knowing what all the enlightened ones have shared for centuries… from Buddha to The Carpenter to Socrates to Plato, Haanel, Emerson… the list goes on and on. The pain comes from facing the truth that our lives are a printout of our subconscious programming. That means, good and bad, it is on us, 100%.
See, within that pain… the pain of knowing I created the conditions in my life based on the decisions I made… which are made 6-9 seconds before I am conscious of them in “subby” [the subconscious]. The key word in that sentence of course is… created.
In last week’s post, we covered the Law of Environment. Without a healthy mindset, you cannot grow new healthy thoughts.
Understanding that you are the caretaker of the miraculous subconscious is critical. Your conscious mind is really the “guardsmen” at the gate.
The Steps to Self-Development
Look, I’m not going to tell you what to think, but I want to share with you what the Ancients taught is that you can think for yourself… once you take the first few steps, it is exhilarating.
Step 1- Take full responsibility for every circumstance in your life… the science now backs up what the Ancients knew all along. You are your decisions.
Step 2 – Embrace the Law of Environment and be a great caretaker of it. To do this, take the 7-day mental diet to clean up the mind from the genetic predisposition we all have and vow to treasure it.
Step 3 – Know that the subconscious mind does not learn like the conscious mind. Rather than study self-helpers, study and master how the human mind works. Since “subby” runs the show, you need to know how to influence “subby” … The Theta state of mind occurs in the first 7 years of our lives… but, a good but here… but… you are in theta when you are drifting off to sleep.
Step 4 – Make a recording on your phone of what you want to feel… happy, peace, love, … and use the words I am. Example? I am healthy… I am peace… I am free… and add, if you like, your desired success. Example: I am healthy I am a best selling author… I am love, I am a successful real estate salesperson. Repeat each one 3 times with 4-8 second intervals. Example… I am healthy… I am healthy… I am healthy best-selling author…. best-selling author… best-selling author. Make it about 20 minutes long. Instead of social media or reruns of Everybody love Raymond… plug in your earbuds and now, in the theta state, you are putting a self-development program in “subby”
Step 5 – Gratitude. Write 3 gratitude cards, [index] a day with no repeats. Things work out the best for the people who make the best of the way things work out. A grateful heart has no fear.
Step 6 – Sit in silence, absolutely still for 15 minutes. Notice your mind will race. Remember, everyone sucks at everything the first few times.
Some of this will be hard but not harder than what Thoreau shared… most people live lives of quiet desperation. Choose your hard. Once you’ve learned and applied these 6 steps, you’ll have a healthy mindset. A healthy mindset now take you from Self-development to personal growth… and, like the sun coming up in the east, transformation happens at a bewildering pace.
Peace be the journey
believe
mark j
Gratitude, as you pointed out, is the key to transformation… #HealthyMindset #MasterKeyExperience #NothingLikeIt
much gratitude and appreciation … #HealthyMindset #MasterKeyExperience #NothingLikeIt
perfect! 🦒#PeaceBeTheJourney🦒 #Love & #respect
you are always so kind and insightful… stunning combination!
You are so right… it begins with personal responsibility… peace and love partner #HealthyMindset #MasterKeyExperience #NothingLikeIt
much #Gratitude and love my friend, thank you so much
Wonderful as usual Mark.
Thank you, Mark! What a breath of fresh air this blog is! I’m so grateful for how simple and doable the steps are. It’s easy to overthink personal growth, but this broke it down in a way that feels light, clear, and totally achievable. I love that the focus is on taking responsibility and small daily actions — no overcomplicated magic formulas. I’m excited now to dive deeper into how the brain really works!
This one hit me square in the soul, Mark. That moment you named the glorious yet gritty realization that it’s ALL ON ME. I remember when that truth cracked open in me, too. It wasn’t soft. It was raw. But that crack was where the light poured in.
I used to loop the same patterns, convincing myself I was “working on myself” by polishing what I was already good at. But true transformation? It started when I stopped ducking the mirror and took radical ownership, just like you said. And the theta recordings? Game-changer. I’ve got mine playing. It’s rewiring me on levels I didn’t even know were scrambled.
Thank you for always keeping it real and keeping us growing. This path is wild… but it’s ours. 🌱 #SelfDevelopment #SubbyWork #InfiniteCreator
“Choose your hard” is something a lot of us have not realized to our bones–that life is a classroom of challenging lessons that are NEVER easy. You called the steps to self-development “ridiculously simple”–you didn’t say they are easy. Thanks for the truth–and the challenge–and the tools.
Those 5 steps to a Healthy Mindset are simple yet profound.
Thanks for showing the way and making it so achievable.
So what I’m getting here is that clearing the mind of the crap, bring grateful, sitting in silence with a clear mind and recording my future me is true evolution.
Thus the idea that one can’t evolve if they are stuck in the past…
Gratitude was without a doubt, (the level of what it became and being both a grateful giver and receiver), was and still is a key element in my progression as I continue to evolve.
LOL… now I feel connected 🤪… we do really, for the most part, suck at most things the first few times…
The simplicity you share is nothing short of brilliant. There is such truth in the notion that we all suck at things when we first start. Realizing that helps me to just keep going.